The Top 7 Reasons Why You’re Not Enjoying Your Life…
And How to Turn It Around Right Now!
You’re exhausted. Stressed out. Overworked and Over-scheduled.
You are not alone! Americans no longer totally chill on their vacations, instead they’re busy scheduling trips and sightseeing and photographing what they’re doing so they can post it to social media. No wonder we’re tired out! We never really allow ourselves to wind down and rest.
Go to bed. Take a nap. Cancel drinks with friends. Eat a hearty, nutrient-dense, whole foods dinner. We’re an exhausted, totally sleep-deprived, adrenal-fatigued society. The solution is to listen to your body’s cries for rest and sustenance.
Did you know that before the advent of electricity, we were getting an average of 10 hours of sleep a night?? Now compare that to what you’re getting these days, and there will be no need to wonder why you’re so tired.
No, a third latte does not qualify as a substitute for sleep!
You’re other-oriented, not self-oriented.
This is not the same thing as being selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic. Although if you’re a total people-pleaser, getting a selfish practice going is a great way to shift the balance more in your favor!
Have you ever had a friend get mad at you when you cancelled plans because you were tired, so you went out with her anyway? Ever date a guy who wanted you to join him at the bar when all you wanted was to stay home and take a bath… but you put on make-up and went out with him anyway? Have a boss with no boundaries or ability to schedule deadlines, so she makes everything a priority–and you’re jumping hoops to make it happen?
The first thing is to notice when you’re doing something only for the other person. And especially when it goes directly against your own wishes.
At first simply diagnosing what you’re doing will be necessary. Then start to get clear
about your own wishes and communicate them to the other people in your life.
It won’t always be easy, but it will be entirely worth it. And if it seems like an impossible feat to re-orient yourself…well, then, that’s where the Selfish Practice comes in.
For one week say no to every single request that you don’t want to meet, and indulge totally and completely in what you do want to do. Be entirely selfish.
Not to worry, if you’re an other-oriented person this won’t make you permanently selfish, but it will help to balance out the scales more in your favor.
Which is an easy way to get exhausted. You smile when you want to rage or when you want to cry. You go out for drinks when you’d rather be sleeping. You have sex when you want to be comforted.
Stop. Just stop. Seriously.
Taking this a step further is seeing if maybe you’re not surrendering. This is about control. Who has command over your life? You? Or God (The Universe or Source or Life Force Energy … choose your preferred term)?
Pray. Cry. Go to the river and watch the sunset. Hold a baby. Read about people who have triumphed over terrible adversity. Forgive yourself.
You don’t know what you want/like/desire.
This isn’t a hard thing to be cursed with. As kids we’re told to sit still when we’d rather be jumping around, we’re shamed for liking ‘silly, glittery things’ because we should have outgrown them, and we’re made to eat foods we don’t like when we’re not hungry.
Ask yourself what you want. No answer? Ask again. Keep asking until you start hearing answers.
No matter how silly or outrageous the answer seems to your mind. This is you letting your essential self speak to you. The only way she’ll start to trust you is if you really listen to her, and let her tell you her heart’s true desires. There is no wrong answer!
But there is a distinction between true enjoyment & fake enjoyment. Maybe a mani-pedi sounds like the ultimate luxury. Or maybe it sounds like work, while the thought of reading the latest quantum physics book gets your blood pumping. Then go for that!
You think enjoyment has to cost money.
Says who? Consumer capitalism, sure, but not the sexy beast who lives inside of you who can be satisfied bathing by candlelight, dancing alone and singing at the top of her lungs, working up a sweat running outside in the freezing cold winter, or eating with her hands and letting the grease run down her chin.
I dare you to discover what she loves. And there’s only one way to find out…
Experiment… play out everything on that list of your heart’s true desires. Be on the lookout for other people who seem to know exactly how to have a good time, and copy them.
Oh, and did you notice that none of the above ideas requires another person to be present?
You’re scared you don’t deserve it.
This is a tough one. Because if you believe you don’t deserve to enjoy your life, you may put off getting started. Then you’ll feel worse, and even less deserving. You’ll start working more, sleeping less. At that point you’ll need some true pleasure in your life, maybe even some out-and-out fun, but you’ll be so far gone you won’t remember what that means, and so you’ll just keep on working.
See the cycle?
The solution is to just do things you like to do. Whether you believe you deserve them or not. Insist on it with yourself. Schedule it in. Make it happen.
Feel like you’re pushing through to a time when your work is done and you can finally relax and kick back?
You don’t feel great.
This is a health question. How vital do you feel? How’s the quality of your sleep? You’ve heard about drinking lots of water being important. Are you doing it??
We often think that getting older means losing vitality, verve, excitement and passion. But what if … it didn’t have to be so?
Take a good look at how well you’re really living. An honest assessment will ensure that you can tend to your health where you most need attention.
To your most amazing health & enjoyment!
Reprinted with permission by Maia Macek
Copyright © 2016 Maia Macek Coaching, All rights reserved.